'We need to talk. Make it final.'
May be you have told everything you have to tell to me, but I am not convinced. Its not very hard to convince me. But it has to be face to face...not over msg or mobile. This is my wish.
People always ask for about his last wish before his death. This is my last wish...to talk to you for a short period of time at your convenient place. I dont think you have any doubt about my character or mistrust that I may mislead you or harm you. I just believe you trust me...rest is upon you. I want to meet you even if it is for the last time.
There are three kinds of death: one, when your body dies; two, when your body goes inside earth-creamated; three, when your loved one forget you. I am just going to die as you are telling to abandone me for forever. So fulfill my last wish atleast. Meet me once. Bring Toblo with you if you have any concern or any other friend, may be Pampi.
I am feeling I cannot be 'only friend, er beshi kichu na' of you. Its impossible for me. I need your friendship with love.
I cannot feel at peace when you roam around with that guy, switch on your phn just talk to him and again switched off, be closer to him. It give me a constant burning. Its not college life that I can keep on waiting for you hoping your mind will change in some distant future. I told many of my friends (girls) about you and most of them had feelings for me. You think it hurt you, you dont know I have just closed their door for forever for me. They cursed me like anything saying 'tumar kopale onek dukkho ache' and I am feeling it is going to be true because if you leave me there is no one who is going to hold my hand. All doors have been closed by me.
That girl, I dont know whether her real name is Smita or not, I hardly talk with her when you talk to me normally. But when you abandoned me I feel so lonely that I used to share with them. And she in stead of understanding and consoling trying to warn you. I know it was my fault but I needed to talk to someone when you leave me. You dont know how painful it is when I imagine you are with that guy. This is unquestionably the most painful thing in life...I experienced the gravest pain of death of someone near and dear also. But this is much more severe than this. Its impossible to withstand that pain while remaining as your friend and remained single. Till June 18 there was nobody.
We have two options now: One, You break up with that guy gradually and marry me next year end. Two, Or our communication will be stopped till your marriage is completed. Friendship will be there, but hardly I have faith in this friendship without love. I can boldly tell that if you dont marry me, after your marriage hardly once or twice in life we will meet or talk...that too accidentally. It is going to die. Thats why I dont want to let you go. I want to be with you. If I remain unmarried your husband will not allow you to talk to me, if I am married, my wife will never allow me to talk to you. You also know all these, still if you want to leave me that only means you ignore me.
But whatever is your decision I will accept as I love you. But as a principle, it has to be face to face. I cannot believe that you dont love me when you tell this over msg or even over phone. If you tell this on my face, I will have nothing to unbelive about it. That short period of time, we will spend nicely, memorably...may be this would be the last time we will be meeting. I will have an 'afsos' that I could not take you to my home. But many wishes in life remain unfulfilled, this would be the deepest wish that would probably remain unfulfilled. But it will be memorable that you are indeed the princes, who came, on request to fulfill the last request and we had good ending.
May be I will not be able to hold my tears back. But this is nothing to matter to you. You will just leave me instantly. Yes, like earlier, I will not be able to drop you to your home probably because of your concern only. Its your choice and your time when and where will be your convenience time and place. Though I think 'Kalibari Mandir' would be safest. If you have full faith then 'Banabithi' may be an option or any place you feel good...just to make it memorable.
If you dont agree to meet then it would be unfair to me. That someone didnt bother my last request...that someone is someone I loved most and who is my first love, also love at first sight. Didnt bother just because she didnt care to bother or may be societal reason or may be ethical too. Who knows my be she never trusted me too.
I can feel how painful it would be when you will be comming back leaving me for forever leaving me there alone, I will be looking that you are leaving..one step, two step, three..four...took vehicle..left..didnt even look behind to me for the last time. I will look to your path as long as it is visible. Then I will sat down in the floor..look downward...cover my face with my both hand and start crying. After some hours, will stand up, take a deep breath and take the bike to return to home. Dont know if Maa ask me what happened I will start crying again or not. One day, two day, three day...some day I will be able to accept your absence in my life. May be beg before another girl..if she accept..will get married, if not, will remain single and virgin for forever.
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