Life slipped so fast that I did
not even realize. I am 30 years old now. Everyone expect so much of maturity
from me. Literally I cannot look to a school girl or college girl now onwards!
I crossed that age, passed that maximum limitation. I probably cannot talk
about ‘girlfriend’ anymore; I have to talk about ‘Wife’. I cannot talk about ‘Love’
anymore, I have to talk about ‘Marriage’-I passed those golden years of life.
It’s not limited to here only; in every sphere of life opportunity is getting
limited. I probably cannot apply for IAS exam now. Its Govt’s sympathy that two
years extension has been given but literally I crossed that Age!
Last two years was the most
horrible period of my life-as if I was sleeping after consuming bunch of ‘AFIM’.
When consciousness came it is 31st December, 2016! Don’t know
whether I could have become an IAS or not, but now after I lost this two
valuable years, I lost my ambition totally. There were many factors behind it
and mostly I was responsible for this tragedy to happen. Sad is that I lost
that mental courage also to regain and sit for the exam again. The whole life I
have to carry out the (rude) instructions of the IPS and IAS officers’ even if
I get nomination for IPS which is quite difficult considering the
circumstances. I shortened my dreams; I wanted to be limited within a
cottage-that was the biggest blunder that I committed. The whole life I will
have to pay for it.
It’s not that I did not do
anything. Yes, something good also happened. I could clear all my debts in 2016.
I could attempt to write a book. My brother did get a job. I could maintain bit
of determination also for about one and half months. But I could not make
documents for our land yet. Could not save Grandmother nor could fulfill my
dream towards her. I wanted she would see my Wife or at least my girlfriend
before she die. I could not make any girlfriend also.
Now time has come. Today is the
last day of the year. Tomorrow morning will be a new morning of 2017. There cannot
be a better time to stand than now. I will be professionally sound to rest of
my life. I will be a good Administrator, not necessarily a kind human being. I will
keep my integrity intact, though sometime I may have to compromise with honesty
for the interest of the society and not for my personal interest. I will be a
Reader and will write also sometime but no poem probably. I lost that mind.
Have some personal milestones
fixed which I have to reach in due time. I will pray to my Almighty to be with
me and help so that I can achieve my Milestones. I already surrendering myself
please don’t test my ability by sending me in a challenging environment. I want
to complete my first Five Milestones in next five years.
I pray to Almighty to give me
some sunshine morning in life and some shine of hope to live, to work, to celebrate.
With this Hope, I Welcome: 2017. Thank you Lord.
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